Hunky Heroes – DC

Jill Pantozzi | April 30th, 2009

Albert Rothstein isn’t the hunkiest of names but his superhero handle Atom Smasher more than makes up for that. Grandson of the Golden Age Atom, Atom Smasher would seem the generic body-builder type if not for what we know of his personality. He’s been a member of Infinity Inc. and the Justice League but it wasn’t until he joined the Justice Society that he won me over. His relationship with Stargirl has been the most romantic, non-romantic relationship I’ve ever seen. Sure, he wears a mask most of the time, but in this case it’s his actions that make him attractive. And his muscles.

He could probably use a good wax but Beast Boy, aka Garfield Mark Logan, has no problem exposing his inner caveman. The adorable Teen Titan has grown into an attractive young man but his boyish sense of humor remains and we all know girls love a man who can make them laugh. Not to mention he can turn into your favorite cuddly animal on command.

John Trujillo, the newest Black Condor is still something of an enigma. His involvement with Uncle Sam and the Freedom fighters has shown he’s definitely the dark, brooding type, which I’m a sucker for. Since he hasn’t been in action that long, credit must go to artist Daniel Acuña for illustrating him as a super hottie. I like eyeliner on some guys and this kicks it up a notch to eleven.

For all those men out there who complain they never get the girl because they’re “the smart one” or “the nice guy,” look no further than the second Blue Beetle, Ted Kord. Was Ted ever particularly successful with the ladies? No, but he did have a thing for Barbara Gordon for a while, and although it was never consummated, she did like him too. Sadly, Ted’s attractiveness comes mostly from his death. When Maxwell Lord shot him in the head for refusing to join his evil plan, he went from “the nice guy” to badass and showed us all the hero he really was.

You know, I’ve always preferred blue over red. Daniel Cassidy, aka Blue Devil, thought his dating days were over once he was turned from stuntman into a demon. He’s been dead at least twice but nothing takes a licking like a cursed creature. He’s got a great body and sad puppy dog eyes, what more could you ask for? Oh, and he’s a good little Catholic boy so you can bring him home to mom. Just be sure to put the dog out first.

No, I don’t have a thing for green skinned men, Querl Dox, aka Brainiac 5, is just plain hot. Credit goes to several artists on this one again though as I’m not well versed in the Legion of Super-Heroes. Sometimes, like in the recent Final Crisis: Legion of Three Worlds, he’s depicted with long-hair, which I find particularly attractive. He can be a little mentally unbalanced sometimes but I can ignore that. He’s got a big brain.

Chances are, if you showed a picture of Connor Kent, aka Kon-El, aka Superboy, to a girl who isn’t into comics, she’d still have a crush on him. Who knew a hybrid of Superman and Lex Luthor would be smokin’? For those of us in the know, his relationship with Wonder Girl is one for the ages. Even if we hate her just a little bit for it. Forget his old costumes, there’s something about jeans and a simple tight, black t-shirt that gets my heart pounding. “Isn’t it cool?”

Ralph Dibny, the Elongated Man. Enough said.

Personally I think Green Arrow is one of the biggest hunks in the DCU but his ward and former sidekick Roy Harper is growing on me. He’s gone by many names, Speedy, Arsenal and most recently Red Arrow. His relationships with Donna Troy and Chesire were short-lived, though he fathered a daughter with the latter. Unfortunately he’s taken on some of GA’s less-attractive personality traits, i.e. sleeping around, but I can ignore his latest escapades seeing as how Hawkgirl really did a number on him. Now where did those handcuff arrows go to…

I’m glad Sodam Yat came in last alphabetically because he’s my new favorite. He’s a Daxamite, the new Ion and will possibly end up being the very last Green Lantern ever. In fact, with his Ion powers he might just be the most powerful hero in the universe. He’s definitely kicked some major bad guy butt so far but we’ve most likely only seen the tip of the iceberg if all the prophecies come true. To me he seems like an amalgamation of all the Earth Lanterns – he’s got John’s precision, Hal’s confidence, Kyle’s mental anguish and take a look at that face and tell me you don’t see Guy shining through. Don’t forget ladies, he’s got x-ray vision.

Did you like this? Check back tomorrow for Bodacious Baddies – DC.