7 Ways to Cope With Your Inevitable Star Wars: The Force Awakens Comedown

5. Start Forming Complex Theories about Doctor Who (Assuming You Haven’t Already)


If Star Wars is like cocaine, then Doctor Who is like smoking American Spirits. It takes a while to get into it, but once you do, you’re hooked. You know you have to stay away from the hard stuff (Star Wars) because your emotions are just running too hard. Have a sit down and watch Doctor Who. If you already watch Doctor Who this should be easy. This season in excellent. Really, the writing is quite good this time around.

6. Watch the Saved By the Bell episode in which Jessie is Addicted to Caffeine Pills RIGHT Before You See The Force Awakens


Because you’re sooo excited…you’re sooo excited…you’re sooo SCARED for The Force Awakens, the best thing to do is inoculate yourself with a cautionary tale of being too excited before you go see the movie. While all your friends are doing marathon binges of the original films in preparation, you will be smart. You’ll watch Saved By the Bell’s timeless tale of addiction and disappointment before you hit up Star Wars. Traditionally, in the 21st century, Star Wars movies have been countdowns to letdowns. This movie promises to be worse: it promises to be TOO good for you to comprehend. Don’t be Jessie Spano. Calm. Down.

7. Just Watch the Movie Again (And Again, and Again)


By far, the easiest way to cope with an addiction of this magnitude is to not cope with it at all. So, if The Force Awakens becomes your new mantra, the only thing you see before you go to bed at night, accept it. Back in the 80’s, even characters on Cheers (Ted Danson’s Sam Malone) copped to seeing The Empire Strikes Back like a million times. My mom saw the first Star Wars like four times in the theatre. You are part of an ongoing intergenerational phenomenon of irrational mass-obsession. There’s nothing you can do about it. Just go see the movie again and freak out again. If your significant other loves Star Wars, count yourself lucky. If they don’t, we’ve heard therapy can help. If not, well…may the Force be with you…always.

Ryan Britt is the author of Luke Skywalker Can’t Read and Other Geeky Truths, out from Plume (Penguin Random House) now.

2 Responses to “7 Ways to Cope With Your Inevitable Star Wars: The Force Awakens Comedown”

  1. Katharine Ellis Tapley says:

    Okay…I consider myself a real Trekkie and I didn’t hate the new Star Trek movie. I didn’t think it was the best ever, but I liked it.

  2. How dare you suggest people watch Revenge of the Sith. You might as well encourage children to huff paint or ram Oreos into their buttockses or whatever it is kids do nowadays.