Dear Santa,

I was really having a hard time deciding what to tell people this year when they asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I considered telling them to give me money towards my laptop fund but I hate when people do that sort of thing to me. Luckily I’ve got just the thing. Who needs Buffy when you’ve got your own Vampire Killing Kit?!

My friend sent me this link today and I knew immediately it was the most perfect gift anyone could ever give me. It’s from the 1800’s and completely authentic and I really really really really want it. It’s got all kinds of great stuff! Do you know how long it would take me to collect all of that separately? 

I know it just sold at an auction for over $14,000 but seeing as how you’re Santa and all I figured you’d know who deserved it more and find some way to slip it underneath my tree come Christmas morning. I’ll be extra good next year I promise! Think about it.
Your friend,
The Nerdy Bird
P.S. Sorry about that crack directed towards the mall Santa yesterday. I only said it because I knew it wasn’t you!

P.P.S. I promise not to kill any vampires with it. I actually like them!

5 Responses to “Dear Santa,”

  1. Cera says:

    those most amazing thing i’ve ever seen! i want one!

  2. Lol Randy!

    That’s awesome Michael. Were they as much as this one? Btw, my friend went to Kutztown. :)

  3. Back in 1994 I was going to college in this small little town in Pennsylvania called Kutztown. One day a friend of mine went walking through the main street and came across a weapons museum, which was kind of surreal because, well, what in the heck was a weapons museum doing in a small college town? Anyhoo, we walk through and after seeing a very large collection of Nazi weapons they had several vampire killing kits from the 1800’s, very much like the one in the picture. I was kind of fascinated, especially after reading the little card which informed me that these were sold to men traveling in eastern Europe on business.

    But like Amber said, that is freaking awesome.

  4. Amber Love says:

    That’s freaking awesome!

  5. Randy says:


    I want one to, Santa. Never mind the fact that I’m Jewish.