F@*# me gently with a chainsaw.

Fox is planning a “contemporary take” of Heathers for television. I’d throw up but bulimia’s so ’87.

According to Variety, “Dark comedy will be adapted for TV by scribe Mark Rizzo, with an assist from ‘Sex and the City’ alum Jenny Bicks. Sony Pictures TV, where Bicks is based, will produce, along with Lakeshore Entertainment, which holds the rights to ‘Heathers.'” The article goes on to say that all the original characters will be there, Veronica, J.D., the Heathers but no word as to whether any of the original actors would be included ala the 90210 remake.

This quote takes the cake though. “We had the title, and talked about doing a film remake at times,” said Lakeshore prexy Gary Lucchesi. “But doing it for TV seemed like a fresh and original idea.” Fresh and original idea. Fresh. And original. Do he know the meaning of the words or is he just saying things to hear himself talk?

Seriously now. Isn’t the snotty popular girl already represented on shows like Gossip Girl and oh, I don’t know, just about every other show on the CW? What’s even stranger about this whole thing is Winona Ryder keeps spouting off about a Heather’s sequel she insists is being made.

For the record, I’m a Veronica. This gives me a great group costume idea for Halloween this year though. Shoulder pads FTW!

4 Responses to “F@*# me gently with a chainsaw.”

  1. Randy says:

    Hey, wasn't the title of this post an old Roberta Flack song?

    No, wait, that was F***ing me SOFTLY with a chainsaw.

    I have had that song running through my head today since originally reading this post. I now pass that along to all of you.

  2. NOT OK.

    It's not Heathers without Christian Slater as JD.

    Why do so many producers and networks want to ruin my life?!

  3. Randy says:

    NOTHING is fresh and original in Hollywood. A certain line about 'superstitious and cowardly lot' applies here as well.

  4. Nooooooooooooo!! Why must they always mess with classics.