Let Dead Vampires Lie

My fellow humans,

With today’s release of the new vampire film Daybreakers, I think it’s time to sit back for a moment and take stock in the state of the undead. I like vampires as much as the next gal. Ok, I like them a whole lot more than the next gal but that should just tell you how serious I am about what I’m going to say. Vampires need to be shoved in their collective coffins and buried deep underground for at least five years.

Granted, compared to some of the other vampire entertainment we saw last year, Daybreakers has a unique take. In their world, vampires outnumber humans and are beginning to run out of their one and only dietary supplement. It stars Ethan Hawk, Sam Neil and Willem Defoe and I find myself actually interested in checking it out. One thing it certainly is not is about teenage vampires. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

You all know by now I’m a Twilight fan but the blame for our own personal vampire epidemic lands squarely at Stephenie Meyer’s doorstep. If it weren’t for her grossly successful book series and subsequent film adaptations we wouldn’t find ourselves wading through the graveyards we are today. I know people say Twilight neutered vampires but did you ever think there’d be something to watch on television called The Vampire Diaries?

This year will be no different. There are tons of vampire properties ready to be released. Let Me In, the American remake of Let the Right One In and Lost Boys: The Thirst (Yeah, they made a third one.) just to name a few. Hollywood bought just about everything with the word vampire in it hoping for another Twilight (I wouldn’t be surprised if I wasn’t far off with my picture.). Let me be the first to inform you, in case no one has bothered before now – IT AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN. Call it cultural phenomena, call it insanity, what Twilight really was was lightning. And lightning never strikes twice.

So I beg of you, please, for the love of Bram Stoker, STOP! Give vampires a rest. I know the Twilight Saga still has two films left and there are TV shows currently airing but after that, stick a stake in it, they’re done.

Signed,

Jill “I still can’t decide between Angel and Spike” Pantozzi

~Did you enjoy what you read here and appreciate it was ad free? Please consider supporting the site through Patreon! If a monthly donation doesn’t work for you, you can also donate through PayPal!~

15 Responses to “Let Dead Vampires Lie”

  1. comicshopgrl says:

    I'm sick of vampires too. I'm ready for zombies to be cool again. =P

  2. Anonymous says:

    Vampires are the new zombies. People will get sick of them soon enough.

    Then they wil RISE AGAIN!!! ;D

  3. Alfredo says:

    Ya know why I want the the vampire craze to go away? Because movies like Twilight only serve to disarm the mythology of vampires. I predict that once the last twilight movie comes out the next wave of vampire movies are going to be terrifying.

  4. AmyR says:

    When I saw the trailer for Daybreakers, I think I groaned audibly. Recently coming off a stint of simultaneous Twilight, True Blood, and Moonlight…I couldn't take any more vampires. I was having a hard time remembering which vampires could go in the daylight, which ones have to sleep under floors, and then there was the sparkling.

    I like the vampires. I really do. But I agree with you. Let's just take a break, okay?

    Oh, and I think Angel, Spike, & Eric from True Blood.

  5. Phillip says:

    I had exactly the same reaction when I saw the trailer! Vampires have been done to undeath, give it a rest Hollywierd

  6. Arturo says:

    Actually, wouldn't a TW/BH x-over be fun, too? You'd have Jack asking
    George, "… Say, do you have a brother, works on a cruise ship …?"

  7. Tom, I like the way you think.

    Heather, I'm gonna blame you entirely if that happens. :P

    Psychotronic, I did not know that. Obvious exclusions for DW. Wouldn't it be fun if they did a DW/BH cross-over where the Doctor meets the roommates?

  8. Psychotronic says:

    I suppose it's pointless to mention then that Doctor Who has a vampire episode coming up in the new season. Then again, the creator of Being Human, Toby Whithouse is writing that one.

  9. BryanP says:

    I don't care what anyone says. I'll never give True Blood a rest… never.

  10. Heather says:

    I know… we didn't have this problem with teen vampire movies when they were Once Bitten & My Best Friend is a Vampire. Although, now that I said that, I'm living in fear of the terrible remakes.

  11. TS Hendrik says:

    Vampires suck.

  12. Tom Francis says:

    Indeed, I'm feeling a bit vamped out these days. Between apprentices, diaries and the often maligned, glowy, de-fanged crowd…well, I'm looking for a new monster of choice. Maybe someone will find a way to kaiju sexy…

    Speaking of sexy, Angel OR Spike? Why not both, Jill? :D

  13. I've been saying the same thing. I love the vampire stories, I do. I grew up on Buffy! But they are killing it. Though I am quite excited about Daybreakers.
    Throwing vampire story lines in all directions isn't going to achieve anything. I think Twilight may have done more harm than good

  14. Arturo says:

    Well said on all points – and that picture is EPIC.