How Batman v Superman Should Have Ended Doesn’t Crown Wonder Woman the Winner

It it possible How It Should Have Ended gave Wonder Woman even less to do than Batman v Superman? Yes. Yes it is.

I’ve mentioned before I didn’t hate Batman v Superman but I didn’t love it either (to hear my nitpicks check out Eff Yeah Film & Feminism, a podcast I recorded with Maria Lewis while I was in Australia). But Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman (not so much as the depicted her Diana Prince) was a highlight for me.

Not that this latest HISHE isn’t great, it goes through a bunch of the “but what about?” questions you had while watching the movie (they could totally do a Part 2 on this). However, whereas I watched the final fight and internally screamed “GIVE WONDER WOMAN THE SPEAR! GIVE WONDER WOMAN THE SPEAR, SHE’S A FUCKING WARRIOR FOR CHRIST’S SAKE!!” they went another route. Take a look.

31 Responses to “How Batman v Superman Should Have Ended Doesn’t Crown Wonder Woman the Winner”

  1. They Call Me The Fizz says:

    Well they had the “Because I’m Batman” running gag to upkeep I suppose…

    Though it would’ve been funnier to do “Because I’m Wonder Woman” and have Bruce and Clark be pouty afterwards at the coffee shop about being upstaged by “the new kid” while Diana points out she’s been at it since World War I and how inexperienced both of them are…

    Also, it’s a spear… Did no one think about throwing the damn thing at Doomsday rather than getting within his melee range?

  2. Jason Rye says:

    Appropriate yes, but would giving her spear in the HISHE been funny?

  3. Zefram Mann says:

    “Haha, just kidding! No way I’m doing that again.”

    Let’s face it. Deadpool makes everything better.

  4. I’d really like to see a more traditional (ie, colorful) version of Wonder Woman if she’s going to show up in the coffee shop in the future.

  5. Ezio says:

    Considering Diana in the movie is the only character who showed she can use weapons, her beating Doomsday with the kryptonite spear would make the most sense. It would have also been a great way to introduce the character to the audience that doesn’t know much about WW.

  6. wondercube says:

    Wondy was, by far, the best part of the movie. Her Xena rip off outfit has grown on me, and it feels like a decent marriage between her bathing suit and something vaguely Greek/gladiator themed. I could do with a slightly longer skirt, but I’ll take what I can get. I could leave the rest of BvS, though. It was convoluted and long and just badly written as a whole. Really hope they make some changes on their creative team.

    • I could maybe warm up to it if we ever saw it in color and if they stopped turning the tiara into a headband. She’s a princess, guys, just giver her the freaking tiara.

      • AnnieOpoly says:

        I liked that fan re-coloring they did, where they gave the look more of a noticeable red/white/blue theme. I wonder if a Tiara would be dangerous? It would certainly look better though.

        • What fan recoloring? I don’t think I saw that.

          It should be dangerous, she can use it as a boomerang. And to be fair to the movie, most of my problems with this costume aside from the color drain originate with DC trying to update her costume, and downgrading the tiara to headband is one of them. But it is still a downgrade, and I wish people would stop doing it.

          • AnnieOpoly says:

            Someone bumped up the saturation of the coloring of her costume, and made the bodice more red and the skirt (if you can all it that) more blue. Your explanation of the Tiara makes more sense to me. I never read the comics much (though I do have a Wonder Woman Visual encyclopedia – I’ll go back and re-read) so I am grateful those with more familiarity take the time to share! It’s hard conversing when you feel like a t00tal N3wb.

          • Wonder Woman is one of my top favorite characters, so the details of her costume mean a lot to me. Honestly, I don’t particularly like the movie version for a couple reasons, but most of the things about it I don’t like (other than the color draining) are things the comics are doing as well, so this time I can’t just blame the movie. My big deal is that Wonder Woman is supposed to be about resolving situations peacefully when possible (she was created as a direct contrast to Superman and Batman who typically solved crimes by punching things), so I’m not really big on the costume redesigns that emphasize Greek warrior. The traditional tiara is one of the details that I really like because it says royalty and ambassador rather than ‘prepared for battle’ because she shouldn’t really be dressing for battle by default. Personally, I’d like to see a redesign that emphasized flowy cloth instead of armor or battle skirts, like Ming Doyle’s redesign for Project Rooftop:

  7. wondercube says:

    Yeah, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for Superman to use the spear. Like, it’s gonna kill you? Wondy is immortal and basically indestructible, right? Or you know, use your alien super strength to *throw* the spear… But I suppose it could be argued the close proximity to the spear might sap his strength (but not his flying ability?). Idk.

  8. AnnieOpoly says:

    When the explosions in the film escalated to the point of nuclear, I lost my S*it and started laughing in the theater. My boyfriend was perplexed, but I felt like the climax of the fight started to shift into parody. Wonder Woman’s costume (a bad love child of a She-ra doll and Xena) and lasso of truth didn’t help much. But Gal Gadot’s acting was perfect and it would have been a better movie if she had been featured more in the last half.

    • Anna says:

      I started laughing when Batman put on the mech suit, just because it looked so goddamn ridiculous and clunky. Yeah, the climax was pretty ridiculous, it was almost Michael Bay-levels of silly explosions.

      • AnnieOpoly says:

        Yes! He looked like an angry toddler that could barely move because he was wearing a snow suit over his full-body diaper. I don’t think they did a good job justifying Batman’s anger. I was totally bewildered…

        • Anna says:

          I wasn’t quite clear on why Superman didn’t like Batman, too. It seemed a bit hypocritical, seeing as Superman is responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people.

  9. Stephen "Soup" Strange says:

    I really love HISHE. I can’t wait to see what they do next. To the other commenters, favorite and least favorite HISHE videos?

  10. Adrian says:

    The most FIRE moment in DC movie history:

    The second–THE SECOND–you see her bracers and her eyes and the Junkie XL Wonder Woman soundtrack kicks in, that is when you know.

    IT. IS. ON.

    • schumannhertz says:

      I didn’t realize she could do stuff besides deflect w her bracers

      *edit: I meant, I didn’t realize the BRACERS themselves could do more than deflect, I know wondy has other abilities

      • Adrian says:

        Her Knockback WonderStun™ bracers move was cool, but I wonder about the mechanics of it. Are they trying to show that she can bang her bracers together at any time and produce a knockback stun? Or are they showing that her bracers were converting the energy of the heat vision and banging them together then released that energy?

        • schumannhertz says:

          i guess this says more about me than the producers/director but i didn’t think they put that much thought into it – just like “oh hey let’s have some energy rays shooting at monsters, everybody loves high-powered energy rays!”

        • wondercube says:

          I thought of it as an “absorb and redistribute” kinda thing.

        • When they showed part of the move in the trailers, I assumed they were using the ability Gail Simone gave the gauntlets, that clashing them together called forth Zeus’ lightning. But that doesn’t really look like lightning, so I don’t know what they were doing. Not sure they did either.

        • Zefram Mann says:

          That ability must have a hell of a cooldown period.

    • I just love how she was like, SUPER EXCITED to be fighting a giant monster. She has a great moment a bit after that first intro where she smiles. I loved it.

      • Adrian says:

        I like when she chats briefly with the guys and when they point out that the monster’s an alien, she says “I’ve killed things from other worlds before.” A very intriguing and tantalizing little detail!

  11. Vel Venturi says:

    I wholeheartedly agree. Surprised me too.

  12. Stacyswirl says:

    Pretty funny. Wonder Woman being barely in it was disappointing, she totally should have been given the spear, but her in the cafe was pretty great.