It’s been a tough year for all of us Bruce.

In these tough economic times it’s someone comforting to know that it’s not only us real people who are struggling. Forbes tells us the fake billionaires are having trouble too. 

Let’s start with the Forbes Fictional 15, those that are still doing well despite our countries woes. Uncle Sam bumped Scrooge McDuck off the top of the list this year if you can believe it and in last place is Mr. Monopoly. That game really went downhill after they started using debit cards. New to the list this year is everyone’s favorite Hutt, Jabba. Forbes says his assests include, “private sail barge Khetanna, palace with nearby access to the Great Pit of Karkoon, carbonite wall art containing frozen space pirate.” Worth $8.4 billion.

The biggest shock this year has to be playboy Tony Stark beating out playboy Bruce Wayne coming in at #7. Could this possibly be the cause? Forbes says, “FBI reportedly investigating violations of the Mann Act related to Wayne’s longtime habit of keeping teenage boys as ‘wards.'” Maybe Bruce will finally say, “I am Batman,” loud enough for everyone to hear next time.
Adrian Veidt, or Ozymandias to you folk, used the massive publicity from the Watchmen film to get himself placed at a very welcoming #10. You could also attribute his placement to several other bizarre factors. Forbes explains, “action figures, novelty underwear, feminine hygiene products all hot sellers. Also genius behind numerous ‘As Seen On TV’ products including ‘Snuggie’ blanket with sleeves, ultra-absorbent ‘ShamWow’ towels.” Who knew?
Of course some had a tougher year then others and have made the Fictional 15 Drop-Offs list. Someone we all could have expected of course, Lucious Malfoy. We believe he had something to do with the postponement of Half-Blood Prince. One can hardly blame him, since the last movie outed him as a Death Eater. Another vile creature made the list as well. Ming the Merciless.
In terribly sad news, sweet little Princess Peach is a Drop-Off. Apparently there’s been quite the scandal. “Heir to the Mushroom Kingdom fled country after four-day long Mushroom People Power Revolution toppled ruling regime. Partisans raided castle, found 1,060 pink designer dresses,” said Forbes. Poor thing. Mario, as usual, is no help. Does anyone know that guy from Braid? Maybe we can set them up. He’s a little obsessive but maybe that’s what she needs right now.
When you get right down to it I don’t feel too bad for any of them. They’re all still richer than me you know? Thanks for a laugh though Forbes.

3 Responses to “It’s been a tough year for all of us Bruce.”

  1. All right, Stark finally beats Wayne! Sadly, his company just went down the tube at the end of Secret Invasion so it won’t last…

  2. HAHAHAH oh man, this totally made my day! I am still cracking up…and the Snuggie! I’ve been laughing at that word and that ‘backwards robe’ for ages now and this just makes it even better. Love it!

  3. Randy says:

    Too too funny, Jill! I’m going to check that list out later.