Smack one, save one, put one in prison.

I never did like that Lana Lang. Always lurking. Popping up every few years to remind Clark she’s still alive. Oh, and by they way, not married anymore! Hint, hint Clark. The other woman, the poor man’s Lois Lane if you will, saved by Superman time and time again. This time Lana, it’s personal.

Superman/Batman wrapped up it’s K arc today with #49. Stop reading now if you don’t want to be spoiled. At Wizard World Philly Shane Davis hinted at a surprise ending that no one had yet picked up on. Well here it is: Lana Lang is a bitch.
If you haven’t been following the book, Superman and Batman have been hunting down every piece of kryptonite on Earth in order to destroy it. They thought they were done until they found a rather large deposit in the possession of the U.S. Government. Eventually they discovered the kryptonite had been sold to them by LexCorp. Makes sense right? Only, Lex hasn’t been running his company since he’s been on the prison planet, Lana has.
Superman confronts Lana while Batman storms the building to figure out where the source of the kryptonite is located. Lana explains she was doing it for the greater good. LexCorp was in the hole and thousands of people depend on the company for survival. By arming the government against one of her oldest friends she was saving people. You know who else saves people Lana? SUPERMAN!
Batman finds the deposit of kryptonite they were looking for and Superman tells Lana it’s over. Not so fast. She tells them there isn’t one deposit, there are thousands and any attempt to go after them will force her to press a button which would release the kryptonite into the atmosphere as dust. Essentially she’d cover every inch of the planet making it unlivable to Superman and his super relatives. He calls her bluff and…she presses the button.
Clark is obviously crushed and immediately heads to the JLA Satellite for refuge. Luckily this catastrophe has a solution. Toyman (Toyboy?) Hiro has self-replicating spider-bots that clean on the microscopic level. They’ve got Earth clear of kryptonite up in no-time. In exchange Hiro got honorary membership in the JLA and a date with Powergirl.
Clark will probably never trust Lana again, nor should he, but he still knows there may come a time he might need to be taken down and he entrusts Batman will the last piece of kryptonite. On the last page we see Batman placing the kryptonite next to every other color kryptonite he’s in possession of. No surprises there.

While reading Catwoman #80 today it hit home that the series has been canceled. I’m still really upset about that and suggest fans write to DC to get her back. It worked with Manhunter right? I actually didn’t know when exactly it was set to end so I checked and we’ve got two more issues to go. The picture above will be the cover for #82 and has Selina looking more Audrey Hepburn than ever.
I’m not the only one who knows how important Catwoman is. In this weeks DC Nation column art director Mark Chiarello tells us the story behind “The Real Power of the DC Universe” poster that was given out during the NY Comic Con. Apparently Catwoman was never supposed to be in it and Adam Hughes took it upon himself to add her after repeated attempts to convince Dan Didio she should be included. I always thought it was a cool idea to have her there standing out as the only one dressed in black. But anyway, it’s a fun story that’s worth a read.
AAAAAND the creepy award for the week goes to….drumroll please…RED TORNADO!
Justice League of America #22 was focused on getting Red Tornado back into a body instead of drifting in the JLA computer. He’s been a little depressed, granted, but while talking things over with his wife Kathy he tells her he watched Kendra and Roy having sex recently. Ewwww! Skeevy! Oh and the best part is, instead of Kathy yelling at him for being a peeping-tom, she jokes about how there’s gotta be some porn on the JLA computer he can watch instead. Huh? Makes you wonder what else he’s been watching…

5 Responses to “Smack one, save one, put one in prison.”

  1. If you like Tiny Titans, you might want to check out PS238. Kid friendly and really, really well written. It comes out in floppies but the creator archives the old issues on the web starting here.

  2. Earth-2 Randy says:

    I DID in fact enjoy Tik-Toc. Return to Oz is a damn good movie. I even thought that when I saw it as it originally came out in 19..cough cough.

    I do enjoy me a good issue of Tiny Titans. The artist is gonna be at Wizard World Chicago next week and I’m hoping to get me a Kid Flash. Assuming I can afford to go this year.

    Depends on if I get this job I interviewed for. I may not be able to go again this year.

  3. Data is one of my favorite characters ever! Would you love for all things robot include clockwork people? I love Tik-Toc from Return to Oz more than anything.

    And there’s nothing wrong with kids comics. Have you read any of the Tiny Titans that’s out now. It’s adorable.

    I sorta agree foxdared. I think Lana should be left for the stories from Clark’s past. Where you thinking of that Ruin guy?

  4. foxdared says:

    I wish they would just leave lana lang story out. Its outdated. Very Outdated. I dont see how they want to turn the old cast into monsters. Kinda like what they did with the doctor fellow who became whathisname…villian.

  5. Earth-2 Randy says:

    Didn’t read either Supes/Bats nor Catwoman. But I DID enjoy JLA. Red Tornado is one of my favorite characters. I love robots and androids and artificial intelligents.

    R2D2, C3PO, Commander Data, Robotman (both of Doom Patrol and All-Star Squadron), and Red Tornado. I loved how Brad Meltzer kinda brought him full circle in his JLA run and was not too happy about how he’s been handled since.

    I hope that after this story, he becomes the viable character I’ve always known he could be.

    My favorite read this week though was a surprising one. I loved Super Friends. The villains of the issue? The JLA. That’s right. The Jesters’ League of America. Joker, Harley Quinn, Trickster, Prankster, Punch and Jewelee.

    Sure, it’s written strictly for kids, but I find nothing wrong with that. I may start buying this regularly from now on. For my 2 year old son Brandon. Yeah, that’s it! That’s the ticket. And did I mention my wife was Morgan Fairchild? ;)