When Geek Girls Attack!

The LA Times’ “Girls’ Guide to Comic Con 2009.” You’ve read it. Or at least read about it. Yes, they did make gross generilizations about the geek girl community. Yes, they really did tell us we’d be rushing to wash laundry on Jake Gyllenhaal’s stomach. They also said, “Pixar can do no wrong by anyone.” ORLY? Oddly enough, in the same photo gallery they write the line, “Get your female empowerment right here,” but that just makes me laugh and lauuugh.
“Angry Little Girls” by Lela Lee

Anyway, I’m not here to beleaguer the point. Many other lovely geeky ladies have written well on the subject already. I’m here to give you my very own Logical Girls’ Guide to Comic Con. This will be my first year attending SDCC but I have attended other cons so this will be a general guide with a few specifics thrown in that I’ve heard from others. It may be snarky at times, it will be realistic and it also may make the boys want to vomit. You are forewarned.

  • Wear comfortable shoes. I use a scooter to get around and even I know this. Unless you are in costume, don’t wear anything with heels. You will be walking A LOT.
  • Get to Hall H, mmmm right about now. Yeah, it’s insanity on the worst level. If you’re going with a large group taking turns holding the place in line might be a good idea too. Pick what’s most important to you and camp.
  • Bring a decent sized bookbag/purse. You’ll likely be picking up lots of free swag, not to mention all the fun things you’ll purchase. You can always get a plastic bag there but why fill up your arms more than you have to?
  • Check your balance before you go. Bank balance and credit card balance. How much can you really afford to spend at Comic Con? Trust me, it’s like walking into a candy store. Everywhere you look there will be something you love and MUST HAVE! Be realistic and set yourself a budget, no one should go into bankruptcy over action figures. As much as we may want to.
  • Batteries. The LA Times lead us to believe we’d need them for our mid-panel sex toy breaks but you’ll really be cursing yourself if you forget them for your camera. Even if the ones in there now are BRAND NEW, buy a whole new package to take with just in case! If nothing else you might turn out to be the savior of another fan who needs to capture a memorable moment.
  • DO NOT attack the celebrities. Speaking of memorable moments, you might just run into a creator or actor you love walking around on the show floor. It happens. When it does be respectful. If they look like they’re trying to avoid making eye contact you probably shouldn’t approach them. Remember, they’re fans too and it sucks that they don’t get to enjoy Comic Con like everyone else.
  • Bring your school supplies. Pens, pencils, sharpies, paper and a sketchbook are all good ideas. Getting sketches from your favorite artists can be a lot of fun but make sure to get to them early, their commission lists fill up fast. That’s not to say some won’t doodle a quick sketch for you inbetween but that doesn’t go for everyone. Use other paper or a notebook to keep track of the panels you want to attend or tables you want to hit instead of having to flip through the program guide 20 times a day. Not to mention you can exchange info with all the other geek girls you meet! There are TONS of us and we’re forming an army.
  • Bring your own food and drinks. It’s just like attending any other “event,” they charge and arm and a leg. If you are being leisurely you can head outside to eat at a restaurant but if timing is tight for panels you’ll be glad you brought a sandwich. Or some chocolate. You know how us girls are.
  • Don’t eat. “Huh,” you say? This only pertains to those of you going in costume. Most cosplay costumes are tight/revealing/hard to get in and out of. The less bathroom breaks, the better. Eat a hearty breakfast but then eat as little as possible during the day. You know what makes you bloat, don’t eat it. You will be getting pictures taken of you constantly. Don’t starve or hurt yourself for fashion though. I suggest keeping a few granola bars handy and definitely water. The last thing you need at Comic Con is a UTI.
  • Extra tampons. We can’t all be lucky and not have our periods during Comic Con. Hey, maybe you’ll be extra cursed and get it mid-con! Ugh. Don’t rely on those machines or friends to have your back, er, front. You’ll want to punch them in the face when they say, “Why would I have one, I don’t have MY period.” Same idea as above with the batteries, you might wind up helping someone else out big time.
  • Sunscreen. You will be in San Diego after all. I hear it’s sunny there sometimes.
  • Condoms. Cuz hey, you never know when Jake Gyllenhaal, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Eric Bana, Alex O’Loughlin, Gabriel Macht, Benicio del Toro, Johnny Depp,Stephen Moyer, Alexander Skarsgard, Sam Trammel, Ryan Kwanten, Brad Pitt, Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Denzel Washington, Paul Wesley, Ian Somerhalder, Johnny Galecki, Jim Parsons, Morris Chestnut, Scott Wolf Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, Tom Welling or Channing Tatum is gonna walk up to you and say, “WANNA FUCK?”

17 Responses to “When Geek Girls Attack!”

  1. Seriously Synd-e, it really does take a lot of thought. Nothing's worse than being unprepared.

  2. stormybabe88 says:

    Damn straight! I'm an Aussie and even I got offended at that!

  3. I'm actually writing a letter to the times. Why? Because if it's one thing I hate, it's when people say things they did.



    You should too.

  4. rob! says:

    While I haven't been to the SDCC in a long time, I do go to other cons, and a suggestion I have is…if you buy a ton of stuff during the day, occasionally head back to your hotel room and DROP THAT STUFF OFF.

    The con floor is crowded, and its just good manners not to gum up the aisles by carrying around 10-12 longboxes full of comics behind you!

  5. Synd-e says:

    OK, here's my tip: After many cons, I finally learned the best bag solution. I wear a smallish messenger bag (like a Timbuk2 Metro) cross body for all my essentials ($$, camera, hand sanitizer, etc.), and then I use a tote bag with long straps over one shoulder for purchases and swag (the IKEA $2 canvas ones are good).

    Yeah, it sounds silly to have put so much thought into this, but after 2 SDCC and numerous other smaller shows, this is what works.

    Agree with all the other tips and again say: food is important… non-squishable granola bars, water, etc.

    And gotta agree with Randy: take a shower! Take two, they're small! I've hung out with hippies and anarchists who smell better than some of what I've sniffed at comic cons!

  6. Not only did I get "trucker's arm" (sunburn on the left arm) driving to the SDCC (from NY), but I somehow managed to get sunbrun on my entire face on Thursday INSIDE the con! so yes, sunblock!!!

  7. Thank you, thank you. *bows*

    I love how EVERYONE is giving TMI in the comments. But it's ok, we're among friends right? :)

    Great additions also, I've had a few good ones from twitter:
    @TNgirlinWA I'd add one item – a hard binder with sheet protectors, to keep signed goodies from getting bent, smeared, etc.
    @treecandy Don't forget to add lot's of cash on hand. Easier to bargain for deals and cabs

    Lol Shaun!

  8. I agree with everything except for 2 words. Robert Pattinson. Umm. You should say "yes" if that thing wants to fuck you? He looks like Sloth with a cro-mag forehead. I might just pity him and give him a dollar for trying something that the "other" people do. I just don't understand what the fascination is with hideous people being the new things to fawn over.

  9. Sarah Atwood says:

    Very practical & appropriate CC guide! I actually got a UTI at last years Con… was that TMI??

  10. Lots of water? Yes but, not Cold water! Especially not after a mourning of Hot Coffee.

    Hot Coffee will Streeetch your bladder, while the Cold water will "shrink" your bladder. Note too that the More Cold water you drink, the more your bladder will shrink. Causing, well, you know. "Frequent" potty breaks.

  11. WITA says:

    This was awesome, Jill! And such good advice, too! I'll bring extra tampons for you girls when we go, I promise! XD

  12. Jill, you are pretty much my hero. I tried reading that LA Times thing, only to give up. I couldn't even read it for the lulz.

    We'll definitely have to meet up in SD, even if it is just to trade batteries and/or products of a feminine nature.

    P.S. – Excellent list on the last bullet, my friend.

  13. d0nnatr0y says:

    LOL- I am still laughing out of appreciation for your last recommended item for con! Great list, Jill! You amuse consistently!

  14. Hey Jill. That was an great great post. LOL on the last tip. Keep up the good work.

  15. Randy says:

    May I add an item, Jill? I'll admit to not necessarily having the female population in mind, but I feel it is too important not to mention.

    After all, you do have quite a few male readers and they may actually feel they have a shot at being with some of your female readers.

    Shower or bathe. How many times has this happened to you? You are rifling through a box of assorted comics, looking to complete your run of Brave and the Bold or Super-Team Family and suddenly you smell the foulest BO stench ever. And you can't really tell which big, sweaty guy it is because you are suddenly surrounded by two of them.

    Seriously, folks, this shouldn't have to be a tip. I understand you want to see as much as possible, but come on! Take the time to wash with some soap and shampoo and take some deodorant with you for later.

    I mean, every con I've gone to, I've encountered several guys like this. What makes a person thinks that this is a good idea? And to make it worse, they usually wear their same clothes for the whole 3 or 4 day period.

    Oh, Amber? There's nothing wrong with you about your dreams. Not in MY estimation, at least. :)

  16. Amber Love says:

    How wrong is it that I can admit to having sex dreams about Sheldon (not the real guy Jim Parsons, mind you)?

    But aside from that bout of TMI, you nailed the essentials.

    Make yourself a checklist just be sure. And don't forget about the things left at home — did you left enough food & water for the cat, do you have dog walker, will your comic shop holds your books for a week until you get back….

  17. Arturo says:

    The LA Times lead us to believe we'd need them for our mid-panel sex toy breaks but you'll really be cursing yourself if you forget them for your camera.

    BWAHAHAHA, nicely done!